I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
