The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
