you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
