drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
