I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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