i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
