from now on my penis is your penis
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
