ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
