in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
