I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
