You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
