thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Randomize
