Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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