wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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