We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
