Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
