God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
