So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
