The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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