Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
