i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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