im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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