Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
