Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
