you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The adults are the big ones right?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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