I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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