ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
