gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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