I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
