i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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