don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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