girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need water and some morals
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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