this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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