is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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