I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
