love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
