We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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