so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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