idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
