he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
