why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
