That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
