Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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