Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
