mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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