Whod you bang
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
