You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
