I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
