just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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