Don't you send me to vm
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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