i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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